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Why, hello there. You've reached the incredibly sexy, confident, and attractive permissions post.
By granting your permission, you are making yourself available for a world of unforgettable pleasure and satisfaction. By denying it, that's fine, of course, I guess, but you'll never know what you're missing out on. Your loss, you weren't worth pursuing anyway! Suck it!
Now that you undoubtedly respect me deeply, I am going to lay it down for you, bro. Or preferably, babe.
-To say that I like attractive women is like saying that Cookie Monster likes cookies. It's definitely not a self-destructive cycle that is fueled by loneliness. It makes me who I am. So if you're a female above 17 years and 11 months old and below 30 and you're a perfect 10, or a 9 or an 8, or a 4 surrounded by 1s, then I will certainly hit on you. However. If for any reason you do not want me hitting on your character (she's probably a 2 anyway), say so in a comment. (I also want to note that though my methods are often unscrupulous and dishonest, there are things I would never do. I generally flirt in socially acceptable ways. That rules out public groping, drugging, and rape, so don't worry, kitten. I'll want you out of my apartment first thing in the morning but you'll wake up safe, if a little bit sore.)
-If we go on a date, there is a high probability of sheet-scorching sex in various positions. I am open to logging or fades to black. If that's not OK for any reason, say so in a comment.
-Sometimes my speech can be a little graphic. It's just how I roll. So. If you're offended by innuendo, references, or profanity within the TV-14 bracket I attempt to adhere to, say so in a comment and I'll remember to speak to your characters like school children.
-I have a few special skills. One of them includes being able to tell, down to the day, how long it's been since a woman has last gotten down and dirty. It's a wonderful talent, I know, but my mun doesn't have it. So if this is OK and even encouraged, HIGH FIVE because you're awesome, and could you please provide LexiL with the amount of time it's been? A comment here or a PM would do very nicely.
By granting your permission, you are making yourself available for a world of unforgettable pleasure and satisfaction. By denying it, that's fine, of course, I guess, but you'll never know what you're missing out on. Your loss, you weren't worth pursuing anyway! Suck it!
Now that you undoubtedly respect me deeply, I am going to lay it down for you, bro. Or preferably, babe.
-To say that I like attractive women is like saying that Cookie Monster likes cookies. It's definitely not a self-destructive cycle that is fueled by loneliness. It makes me who I am. So if you're a female above 17 years and 11 months old and below 30 and you're a perfect 10, or a 9 or an 8, or a 4 surrounded by 1s, then I will certainly hit on you. However. If for any reason you do not want me hitting on your character (she's probably a 2 anyway), say so in a comment. (I also want to note that though my methods are often unscrupulous and dishonest, there are things I would never do. I generally flirt in socially acceptable ways. That rules out public groping, drugging, and rape, so don't worry, kitten. I'll want you out of my apartment first thing in the morning but you'll wake up safe, if a little bit sore.)
-If we go on a date, there is a high probability of sheet-scorching sex in various positions. I am open to logging or fades to black. If that's not OK for any reason, say so in a comment.
-Sometimes my speech can be a little graphic. It's just how I roll. So. If you're offended by innuendo, references, or profanity within the TV-14 bracket I attempt to adhere to, say so in a comment and I'll remember to speak to your characters like school children.
-I have a few special skills. One of them includes being able to tell, down to the day, how long it's been since a woman has last gotten down and dirty. It's a wonderful talent, I know, but my mun doesn't have it. So if this is OK and even encouraged, HIGH FIVE because you're awesome, and could you please provide LexiL with the amount of time it's been? A comment here or a PM would do very nicely.
no subject
Date: 2012-06-25 06:41 pm (UTC)From:Items 1+2: When it comes to the first two items, both characters are underage and uninterested. Clare might end up 18 via canon updates but that won't be for a while, even if she did it would have to be some canon update for her to take any of Barney's BS. (But, on the other hand, Barney trying to put moves on her would be HILARIOUS.)
Item 3: Barney can say whatever horrible things he wants in front of my characters, it'd be fun for both the girls to make horrified faces at Barney. Unless he thinks he should guard his words around teenagers that are...
Item 4: Both my teens have never had anything like sex, Barney is free to read this off either of them. And respond in proper Barney fashion should he decide to.
Appendix item: Barney is free to suggest that they call him when they turn 17 and 11 months old, that'd be hilarious.
no subject
Date: 2012-06-26 01:27 am (UTC)From:But waiting isn't so much of a problem if it isn't for long, and a little bit of harmless flirting never hurt anything. Look forward to that, kiddos!